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Change has not ever been easy for me. After being at home with my kids for over ten years, I am now transitioning from a stay at home mom to a working mom. 

Dealing with change is hard!

I can still remember the devastating loss I felt the day my two older sisters headed off to college in Hawaii together.

We had all shared a room for numerous years and we were all in high school together at the same time.

The day they flew away, I went to volleyball practice and literally broke down sobbing in the middle of warm-ups.

My coach asked what was wrong.  When I told her, I remember feeling how trite it sounded. But looking back, it was a loss of something great.

An end of a chapter that I truly adored.

Grieving Loss from Change

 

Life takes a lot of twists and turns.

Each new phase of our life ends and another begins. 

These changes (whether it be something like the end of a high school sport or the loss of a relationship) can feel like a closing of a book and it can honestly be likened to a death of sorts.

Fast forward 15 years later.

My own little family of 5 had become a family of 8 over an eight year span in the same home.

We lived two miles from one of my sisters, only houses or streets away from friends I would stay up in the wee hours of the night chatting with, a day’s drive from both grandparents, and an hour away from two of Chad’s siblings that I loved as my own siblings. 

Life was good.

My support system was rock solid.

Then we moved over 1,000 miles away for a job.

Once again, a mighty chapter was closed and it honestly felt at times that a part of me had died.

Because, in fact it did.

An important part of my life had come to a close and a new one was about to begin.

However, in the midst of the loss, I mourned it, but I did not acknowledge it.

I mourned all that was gone. With the loss of that support system close by, I truly went through the stages of grief.

I felt it all: denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and then acceptance.

But I failed to truly make closure on this loss in my life and find “meaning,” as David Kessler states in his book Finding Meaning – The Sixth Stage of Grief.

Stay at Home Mom to Working Mom

So here I am at another big chapter closing in my life. 

I have been a full-time stay at home mom for 10 years and a work from home mom the 5 years before that.

In two days, I am headed back into corporate life. I am closing a very big and wonderful chapter of my life being at home with my kids full-time.

In order to celebrate the closure of this chapter- to fully find meaning in this change, I wanted to pay homage to the time I was able to be with my children. The exhausting, tiring, fulfilling stay-at-home mom (SAHM) chapter.

So here goes. A sort of “obituary” to the end of a phase, as I start a new one. 

To celebrate the chapter!

Honoring the Stay at Home Mom

When I was pregnant with number four, I had been working remote at home for about 5 years and was part of a massive layoff.

My husband had just received a great job promotion and I opted to take the severance and transition into full-time SAHM. He has always been my number one support and cheerleader in whatever route I decide to take! 

Juggling kids and routines between work at home was quite stressful at times, so I was excited for the focus this would allow me to be with these kiddos and give them my full attention.

Woah, is motherhood a rollercoaster!

How lucky I was to be able to be with each child as they reached a new milestone, teach them about this world and also learn all there is to know about trains, bugs, dinosaurs, basketball, princesses and so much more right along with them.

I can build a solid marble run and can tell you the quickest way to clean up Legos. I can change kids into a costume in record time and work through math problems with the best of them!

We’ve been through the bloody lips of slides, stitches luckily only three times, scraped knees from learning to ride a bicycle, angrily-tossed board games, fighting naps a billion times and well, some truly exhausting days.

However, I’ve also been lucky enough to watch them playfully discover how to use a spoon while spreading yogurt everywhere, teach each of them to transition out of diapers, hold each of their bikes as they have learned to take off on their own, and to be there after school to hear the funny stories or to hug them on the hard days. 

Going to work doesn’t mean I’m not going to be there to do any of these things, but it will bring more independence.

More time for them to grow on their own and discover their own likes and interests more freely.

Oh my goodness, how blessed I have been to be their mom and to be there when they needed me. It was a glorious 10 years!

I heard once that I can always go back to my career, but I can never go back to my kid’s childhood.

This new chapter has given me an opportunity to do just that!

I could blindly jump back into corporate life and may possibly still go through some grieving, but to do it right, I need to first give true credit to those amazing years I had being a SAHM. 

What a chapter it has been!

So long to the runny noses and poopy diapers.  So long to the throw-your-body-on-the-ground fits. So long to the days without adult interaction.  So long to the days of constantly arguing about screen time.

But…. I will forever celebrate the days of train track building, the days of snuggling a sleeping baby, the hours of giggling with bubbles. I will celebrate the irreplaceable joy we had at playgrounds and parks.

Celebrate the time we had and how we grew together.

Oh, how I celebrate all the times I got to hear, “Mommy.”

I would not be the woman I am today without these six amazing humans by my side. 

In so many ways they have been my caretakers

They have taught me to not make such a big deal about things that don’t matter.

To always get outside and explore God’s creations.

That I need to forgive more freely and to love more openly.

Remarkably, that a Plesiosaur (a word I had never heard before) was a dinosaur that lived in the water.

This chapter may be closing, but I was one blessed character to be a part of it.

Celebrate Change as the Working Mom

 

And now we get to start a new chapter.

I will still be their mom. 

I will always be their biggest cheerleader, but now I am seeing that they are mine as well.

As I head off to work, my mind has often questioned the change. Occasionally bringing tears.

My teenagers have given me the most motivational speeches about how I am “going to kill it” (their words) in the corporate world. 

My nine year old pumps me up with how awesome I’ll be at organizing everything and how he’ll be the best big brother for our kindergartener.

These kids of mine will be ok.

I am going to be ok. 

Yes, being a mom will still be a roller coaster.  But we have learned so much together and will continue to learn so much!

Goodbye to this special part of my life as this chapter closes. 

But transitioning from Stay at Home Mom to Working Mom opens a great new chapter.

And oh man, I’m excited to see what this next chapter brings!!!

About the Author

Beth was raised in a small town in Central Oregon. Now Beth and her husband, Chad, are the parents to five boys and one girl and strive to inspire them to reach for the stars! She received her degree in Information Systems and began married life working, but she was lucky enough to be a stay at home mom for 10 years and has now become a working mom again. In her free time (aka midnight), she loves to document motherhood and the adventures she has with her family of eight! 

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